Audio Version
In the journey toward self-mastery, one of the most important lessons is learning to observe our thoughts without letting them dictate our actions.
We all have a constant inner dialogue, and sometimes those voices in our minds are filled with doubts, criticisms, impulses, or worries. It’s easy to feel like we need to respond to every thought or act on every urge. But the truth is, not every thought deserves our attention or action.
Why don’t we have to act on every thought?
Thoughts are like clouds—they come and go, take on many forms, and change constantly. They also tend to drift away without us having to lift a finger. Some are helpful, but others may be reactionary, rooted in fear, or just random. Often, the more intense the thought, the more we feel a pull to act on it. But imagine if we responded impulsively to every internal urge! We’d be ending our relationships within seconds of a disagreement, maxing out credit cards or going all in on crypto, quitting our new jobs after a week, or posting what we thought was a hilarious video of ourselves under the influence for our entire professional network, mother-in-law-to-be, and boss to see!
Like a string puppet, we’d be at the mercy of our emotions, unable to focus, constantly on the go, and reacting, instead of thoughtfully deciding. Learning to step back and observe our thoughts without immediately acting on them is a powerful way to build self-control. It’s a practice that can make a big difference in our relationships, our work, and our own peace of mind.
So how can we build awareness and self-control over our thoughts?
1. Mindful Observation
Try observing your thoughts like an impartial witness. Notice each one that pops up without judging or labelling it as good or bad. Simply acknowledge it, “I’m feeling frustrated,” or “I have an urge to procrastinate.” This small act of awareness can weaken the thought’s power over you.
2. Create a Pause
When you feel the urge to react to a thought, practice creating a pause. Take a deep breath and allow yourself a few seconds of stillness. This space between thought and action is where self-control is born. Ask yourself, “Is this something I need to act on right now?” Often, the answer is no.
3. Challenge and Reframe Negative Thoughts
If certain recurring thoughts are unhelpful or critical, try reframing them. For example, if you often think, “I’ll never succeed,” pause and replace it with a balanced perspective: “I’ve faced challenges before and overcome them.” This doesn’t mean dismissing your feelings or thinking in an overly positive way—it’s about choosing a response that empowers you.
4. Use Visualisation
Imagine your thoughts floating by like leaves on a stream or clouds in the sky. This visualisation helps reinforce the idea that thoughts are separate from actions, and you can let them pass without engaging. Remind yourself that just because a thought enters your mind, it doesn’t define who you are or what you have to do.
5. Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation is one of the best ways to strengthen awareness of your thoughts without becoming attached to them. Thoughts can intensify over time if they continue to fly under the awareness radar. Just five minutes of mindfulness practice a day can teach you to notice your mind’s chatter, turn down the volume of its booming voice, and build resilience against impulsive reactions.
Remember, you are NOT the voice!
Learning to observe your thoughts without acting on them gives you the freedom to make more conscious choices. With practice, you may come to realise that the thoughts or voices in your mind are only one part of your experience. You can decide which to engage with and which to let drift away, leading you to a calmer, more composed sense of self.